Man claims sorority girls partied with him because he’s hot, not because he gatecrashed with truck full of vodka.

Melvin McGurry has never been so certain of anything in his life.

The 37-year-old virgin, but who has, 'touched some parts of a woman with consent,' is adamant he was the life of a recent sorority party, 'because I'm hot.'

McGurry, who still lives at home with his mum, dad, and three step-mum's (his dad has been divorced four times), had just started his shift as a truck driver for a beverage company, when he came across the Cappa Heppa Titus sorority party.

'I was due for my break and it seemed like a fun place,' McGurry said, despite only having started his shift 15 minutes earlier and nowhere near due a break.

Much of McGurry's retelling of the story isn't fit for publication, partly because of the profanity, but also because it's an extreme exaggeration of what really happened.

Case in point: 'I was just sort of doing my thang, chillin' by my van, when fifty babes in wet t-shirts came out of this house and told me to come in and party.'

It's a detail vigorously challenged by Saleena Pope – Dame Regal Vice Queen Duchess of the Third Story Blonde Faction (she's blonde and the sorority rents a suburban three-story house, but as for the rest of her title, we don't get it either).

'Our t-shirts were dry, that's a fact,' Ms Pope said.

'He knocked on the front door and was told to take his lame ass home. But then he told us he had a free truck full of pineapple vodka, so we invited him in.

'Sure, all the girls talked to him, but only to use him for free drinks.'

McGurry denied this was the reason, and swore on his dead mother's life (even though she's still alive) that they talked to him because he's, 'a stud with an irresistible amount of sexual power.'

'That's not true either,' Ms Pope said. 'Once he moved all the pallets of vodka off the truck and into our garage, we called the cops on him.'

The Daily Fug was surprised to learn McGurry wasn't fired by his employer for gifting the sorority $250,000 worth of vodka, but was instead promoted to a management position.

'I've got dirt on the CEO,' McGurry said. 'I'm not only a handsome son-of-a-b****, but I've got brains too.'